Why are Successful Black Women…Single? A Black Man’s Perspective... I didn't write this by the way, carry on!

Kind of a long read but interesting.............


http://thefreshxpress.com/2009/03/why-are-successful-black-womensingle-a-black-mans-perspective/




Understand, its not my intention to ruffle any feathers or to offend anyone(especially the sista’s) but this is an issue that, in my opinion needs to be discussed. I’ve talked my boys about this as well and some ladies and they’re varying opinions on the subject, but I’m going to give my opinion. The question is…“WHY ARE SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN SINGLE?” Is it by choice? Is it because they’re a lack of successful black men? Is it because the black men that are successful, date white women? Maybe its because brotha’s are intimidated by sista’s who happen to make more money or are more educated? Can it be that successful black women don’t know their “role”?(Uh huh…calm down ladies) Could it be that some brotha’s are “switch hitters” or swing on the other side of the fence. Or can it be that the sista’s are reaching to “high?” Honestly, I believe that its a combination of these things. I could write a book on this subject from my vantage point, but I’ll just pose three reason’s that in my opinion are the reason’s why successful sista’s are single.

1.SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMAN ARE REACHING TO HIGH.

I understand that you may want a brotha with as much if not more education than you. I understand that you may want a brotha who makes more money than you. Well lets get somethings straight….This is 2009! School isn’t for everybody. Whats wrong with the blue collar construction worker dating a attorney? Whats wrong with the District Manager at McDonalds, who worked his way up from the grill dating a doctor? In my opinion, nothing. As long as the brotha is treating you right and supportive of your goals and dreams, I frankly don’t see anything wrong with that combination. Sista’s who are attorney’s want..an Attorney. Sista’s who are businesswoman want a… Businessman. Sista’s who are doctors…want a Surgeon. Now this isn’t the case all the time. The thing about men is that frankly…We don’t give a damn!!! I was engaged in college and I told my ex-fiance’ that your accomplishments are an added bonus to who you are. They don’t define you. I loved her for who she was, Not because she has what is now 4 college degrees(yeah she doing it).A brotha who is an attorney will date a woman who is a hair stylist. A brotha who is a doctor will date a sista who is a teacher. A brotha who is an engineer will date the customer service rep at Sprint. Doesn’t matter to us! As long as she is supportive and treats us like our mothers(joking lol)we’re cool!!

2.SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN DON’T KNOW THEIR ROLE.

Now sista’s, before you throw a shoe at the screen, here me out(rather read me out..lol). I’m a Ne-Yo fan and one of my favorite songs is “Miss Independent” and I also like the remix with Jamie Foxx. Now, an independent woman is sexy as hell. Its a verse on the remix that Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx say” THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A WOMAN THAT WANTS BUT DON’T NEED ME”! Mannnnn, when a woman says that, it makes a brotha toes curl!!! Now here is where the issue comes in. Since sista’s have there “own”, some sista’s feel that they run everything in their respective relationships!!! You feel that your the breadwinner, because your bringing in the most bread. You feel that you can do and say what you want because of your position in Corporate America. News Flash Sista’s THAT’S WHY YOUR SINGLE!!! If you telling a brotha how its going to be and that you don’t need him because you “got your own” then a brotha will tell you “be single, with your own stuff”. Let us be men! Period. Don’t throw up in our faces how much more money you make or imply that your career is more important than ours. Its not about ego, its about respect. Again, I’m speaking from my perspective. Frankly, I don’t care if my girlfriend or wife made more money than me, but understand, I will be the man of my relationship and or house. The buck stops here!! Am I saying that she has no input…No, of course not. I’m stating that men are leaders and women look to their men for guidance. If your married and the brotha loses his job, your going to look up at him for reassurance. Your going to want him to tell you “Its going to be alright sweetie. I’ll make it alright!” Now, he also needs to be there for you. Its just now a one way street. Understand that your standing in your career shouldn’t have any bearing on your standing in your relationship.

3. SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN ARE UNAPPROACHABLE AND/OR “STUCK-UP”.

I had to add this one because a lot of brotha’s feel this way. I’m speaking for the brotha’s right now. I don’t necessarily feel this way. I’m not intimidated by any woman.(except Halle Berry….my boo since I was 13). Because of how successful sista’s are and they’re willingness to let you how successful they are and that they don’t need us, kind of makes it hard to approach you. Now not all sista’s are like this. I don’t blame the sista’s who are cool, for the brotha’s being punks not and wanting to step up and approach you. But, to the brotha’s defense, some of you ladies have a big “STEP OFF” sign stamped on the middle of your foreheads, so it makes it difficult. Nobody wants to be rejected. That sucks!(I wouldn’t know) It would be cool, if the ladies would approach a brotha they were interested in, but a lot of sista’s don’t do that. That’s crazy! You’re “Miss Independent” right? Its 2009, right? Some sista’s demeanor and attitude makes them unapproachable. For example, I was at a club several months ago and I was standing at the bar and happen to look to my right and saw a very attractive young lady. She looked like she wasn’t having a good time, so, I said” Hello, how are you?” She turns and retorts “Do I know you?” I said, ” No that’s why I’m saying hello”. She apologized for her tone and offered me a drink but I was so put off by her original comment and how she said it that I declined. I wasn’t trying to get her number or anything, I was just being polite. For some reason, some sista’s think that if you speak to them, you’re trying to have a conversation or want something from them. Sorry dear, some brotha’s are just being polite. Its some of us still out there.